103 Things About Good Dick That You Should Know

We don't know who put this list together but it isn't half bad.  Some of these we agree with.  Good sex will drive even the most grounded person a lil cray cray.  We have of course included pics because...why not?

1. Good dick will have you hearing colors

2. Good dick will have you out here Face-timing folks unannounced

3. Good dick will have you missing all them social gatherings and events, you’ll just pop up people be like…..WHERE YOU BEEN?

4. Good dick will have you washing his dishes, even when you ain’t messed up shit.

5. Good dick will have you cooking every weekend like it’s thanksgiving

6 Good dick will have you emotionally struggling at 10:54am

7. Good dick will have you selling yo granny’s pain pills so he can buy tickets to the All-Star game.

8. Good dick will have you stealing yo moms’ Summer’s Eve to Fleet because yo broke ass gave him yo last $2 for a wrap.

9. Good dick will have you giving yo moms a Mother’s Day gift made of construction paper & dry ass macaroni because he needed new rims.

10. Good dick will have you buying a monthly bus pass because you letting this nigga stunt in yo Chrysler 300.

11. Good dick will have you feeding yo kids hot dogs because he deserves steak & potatoes after a long day of loitering.

12. Good dick will have you missing yo 9yr old remedial son’s kindergarten graduation.

13. Good dick will have you getting WiFi on in yo baby’s name so he can play on Xbox Live.

14. Good dick will have you starving all day long but you in the kitchen cooking him a meal (Gotta keep ya walls clean!)

15. Good dick will have you calling yo brother’s P.O. because he stole his weed.

16. Good dick will have you letting him drive your car, knowing damn well he ain’t got no license.

17. Good Dick will have you giving him more than half of your refund check, and still buy his ass shoes and pay for his food.

18. Good dick will have you keying “Bitch” on a man’s car, then stay at your friend’s house for a while b/c you’re scared he’ll come after you.

19. Good dick will have you crying for NO reason.

20. Good dick will have you apologizing for an argument HE started.

21. Good dick will have you rolling blunts you don’t even smoke — it will make you act like a feigning crack head

22. Good dick will have you let him claim 3 out of yo 7 kids on his taxes & he ain’t cutting you in on shit.

23. Good dick will make you speak proper English… “ and you’ll suddenly learn to cook.

24. Good Dick never had y’all tell your Mama’s “You just don’t want me to be happy I know he loves me”

25. Good Dick got you on the subway at 2am in nothing but a thong, pea coat, and boots on the way to see him.

26. Good Dick got you braiding his daughter’s hair KNOWING his baby mama can’t stand you.

27. Good Dick will make you wrap your weave before sex.

Dangerous Dick will have you like “fuck it, I’ll tighten it tomorrow”.

28. Good Dick can make you curse a nigga out.

Dangerous Dick will have you trying to fight a nigga you know damn well you can’t beat him.

29. Good Dick can make you key his car.

Dangerous Dick can make you fuck with his brakes. See the difference?

30. Good Dick will have you in the hot 90-degree sun selling ice water to support his Jordan sneaker addiction

31. You ain’t really had Good Dick unless someone pisses you off to the point where you key his car & put M&M’s in his gas tank

32.  Good Dick fucked up your credit.

33. Good Dick got you using your SSN to get 3 cell phones. 1 for him, 1 for his teenage daughter, and 1 for his play cousin.

34. Good Dick makes you convert to Mormonism and become his 2nd wife.

35. Good Dick got you flat ironing his Grandma’s hair at their family’s cook out.

36. Good Dick got you sucking dick in the car on the way to church.

37. Good Dick got you regularly refreshing Facebook page just to monitor his online activity.

38. Good Dick made you type his entire research paper on some shit you didn’t even know about.

39. Good Dick made him an authorized user of your American Express.

40. Good Dick is the reason there’s a Scorpio symbol tattooed on your ankle when you’re an Aries.

41. Good Dick will have you giving him a spa pedicure with a pair of tweezers.

42 Good Dick added an extra $40 to your cable bill because he HAD to have the sports package. You ain’t mad tho.

43. Good Dick got you rubbing Crisco all over your upper body & taking pictures while sitting on a motorcycle wearing nothing but a thong.

44. Good Dick makes you not even care about the $20 that mysteriously disappeared out of your purse.

45. Good Dick almost made you keep that used condom for sentimental value. Admit it.

46. Good Dick had you running to Wal-Mart to pick up his Mom’s blood pressure pills because he was too busy in the trap.

47. Good Dick had you giving him head in a Burger King restroom while you both were on a lunch break.

48. Good Dick almost got you fired because you’ve used all of your PTO days to stand by his side at his court dates.

49. Good Dick made you give his penis a nickname, like “Magic Wand”, “Happy Stick”, or “Darth Vader”.

50. Good Dick got you cursed OUT by your Aunt because you asked her to not use ham hocks in her collar greens because your boo doesn’t eat pork.

51. Good Dick had you eating chitterlings loaf and doing the Biker Shuffle at his family’s cook out.

52. Good Dick had you singing background vocals on his awful ass mixtape.

53. Good Dick made you prepare his favorite meal: Tacos, a glass of grape Kool-Aid, and 2 rolled blunts.

54. Good Dick is the reason you’re okay with his six kids calling you “Auntie”.

55. Good Dick had you volunteering at his Church’s fish fry so they could buy robes for the youth choir.

56. Good Dick had your ass down on Canal Street selling fake Coach bags so you can pay his probation officer.

57. Good Dick makes you send a friend request to all his females/Men on his Facebook friends list just to make sure ain’t no funny shit going on.

58.Good Dick made you drive to McDonald’s at 10:15am, and waited for them to start serving lunch just because he wanted a Mc-Chicken sandwich.

59. Good Dick fucked up your FICO score. Now you regret opening his Barbershop in your name.

60. Good Dick made you Ladies ask your Gay male friends advice on how to take it up the ass because your man wants to try something new.

61. Good Dick is the reason you haven’t met your friends for brunch in 2 months.

62. Good Dick almost got you and him into a car accident because you were giving him Awesome head while he was driving on the freeway.

63. Good Dick keeps tattoo artists in business. Check the top of your breast. Is his name tattooed there? Yes? Oh.

64. Good Dick makes you call him, just because. “Hey boo, are you breathing? Good! I’m breathing too.”

65. Good Dick made you not take that promotion at work because you didn’t want to make more money than him.

66. Good Dick made you host his “He Got His GED” party at your apartment.

67. He used your Masters Degree in Finance to break up weed. You ain’t even mad because he got that Good Dick

68. Good Dick makes you overlook the fact he’s almost 40 with nappy cornrows that look like dreads.

69. Good Dick made you suck his dick while he was sleep a couple of times.

70. Good Dick had you drive from the Bronx to Brooklyn, in rush hour traffic, just to get jerk chicken from his favorite Jamaican spot.

71. Good Dick had you singing in the choir at his Baptist church. You were raised in a Pentecostal church.

72. Good Dick will have you putting your nephew’s urine in a condom just so your boo can pass his drug test to get that job at Wal-Mart.

73. Good Dick will have you taking weed charges because it would be the 3rd strike. You never smoked weed a day in your life.

74. Good Dick had you up until 6am because you were trying to guess the passcode to his iPhone while he was asleep.

75. Good Dick made you a housewife. Now you know how to cook, clean, raise kids, AND roll blunts.

76 Good Dick makes you not curse his ass out when he calls you names like ‘Derty Souf” or “Astroglide” around your Mama.

77 Good Dick made you stop eating pork just because he’s 5% Muslim.

78. Good Dick will have your ass standing outside in 30-degree weather waiting in line to buy him some Concords.

79. Good Dick makes you say “fuck it, I’ll just get written up”, and call out of work because you have no more PTO days.

80. Good Dick will make you tell your platonic friend for YEARS to never call you again because you don’t want your boyfriend to get upset.

81.Good Dick will have you cleaning up his whole house…after you just got a manicure.

82.  Good Dick will have you sending him a LOOOOOOOOOONG text message when all he asked was “Sup?”

83.Good Dick will have you eating Domino’s because it’s his favorite…KNOWING good and well you prefer Papa John’s.

84. Good Dick will make you play childish games. Calling his phone then hanging up and shit.

85. Good Dick will make you give him a key to your apartment…and he pays NO bills.

86. Good Dick will have you sitting watching his favorite sitcom with him knowing you NEVER liked that show.

87. Good Dick will have you paying the extra 25 cents to put cheese on his Whopper.

88. Good Dick will have you saying “Look, I know he hurt me, but I don’t want anybody to hurt him!”

89 Good Dick will have you taking random road trips across the country with that nigga. You forgot you had a job.

90. Good Dick will make you put his whack ass mixtape on your iPod.

91. Good Dick will have you calling a Nigga “Daddy” in public.

92. Good Dick will make you skip lunch just so you can spend your last $10 on buying him a dime bag.

93. Good Dick will have you screaming obnoxiously during sex just so your neighbors can hear.

94. Good Dick will make you put in your 2 weeks notice and move to a different state.

95. Good Dick will have you at the Waffle House at 3am just because he wanted some toast and cheese eggs.

96. Good Dick will make you NOT trip when you just filled up your tank and he drives all of it out

97. Good Dick will have you cursing out T-Mobile because a call dropped while you were talking to him.

98. Good Dick will have you hacking into his Facebook account just to be sure no one is in boxing him some scandalous shit!

99. Good Dick will make you disrespect your Mother because she’s trying to tell you that nigga ain’t shit!

100. Good Dick will make you fuck up your credit cosigning for a Benz neither you or he can afford.

101. Good Dick will make you immediately be quiet when he says “Shut the fuck up!”

102. Good Dick will have you crying when nothing is wrong.

103. Good Dick will have you paying a broke nigga’s cell phone bill with money you don’t have, just so you can keep in touch with him.

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