30 Types of Guys You'll Meet on Jack'd

1. THE AVERAGE JOE -This guy doesn't take Jack'd too seriously, he's usually seen online at the same time, either in the evening or at nights when he's not working.

2. THE RANTER - This angry fellow has a NOVEL written on his profile about the types of guys he doesn't like. He's had a dew bad experiences and has decided to express his anger and frustration on his page, hoping to ward off the 'lames, fats, fems & flakes'. Unfortunately the RANTER doesn't realize his page wards off everyone.

3. THE MASC FAIL - This guy has pictures on his page of him in the gym, him with his homeboys and a body picture of his ripped 6pack. His page usually says 'no fats no fems'…. Except when you see him in the club, he is a FAT FEM.

4. THE PRETTY? BOI - This guy has links to all his social media on his page. 12K followers on Instagram that loves and adores all his airbrushed and lightened pictures. He has his choice nightly who to hook up with, and usually replies every 9 years or so.

5. THE JACK'D TEAM - It's never good when they show up in your inbox, usually one of your pictures were reported by someone you weren't interested in and you have to wait 5 days before you'll be able to post one again.

6. MISTER JACK'D - This guy is ALWAYS online. 3pm, 3:45am, 6am, 11:26pm, on holidays, weekends, hurricanes & earthquakes. This guy manages to be on Jack'd even when Jack'd is DOWN FOR MAINTENANCE.

7. THE PEN PAL - This guy is one of the best looking guys you've ever seen. He gives good conversation, he's down to earth, you seemingly get along, and just when you decide to meet him in person, he's 8000 miles away somewhere in a small town in Kazakhstan.

8. THE VISITOR - This guy is not here for friends. He's clocked in. His hotel location is posted, and his nude pictures are public. He gets to the point and wants to know right off hand if you're coming through or not. If your response is anything but 'I'm on my way' you won't hear much from him again.

9. THE TEASE - This guy is gorgeous, amazing body amazing personality, and seems to have the morals of someone you look for. The only issue is, when you make a move, he mentions he has a BOYFRIEND, even though he unlocked his 'PRIVATE' pictures for you the day before.

10. THE OLD GUY - We all know how picky gay guys can be, so when older men reach a certain age, they switch their age online to '69 or 99'. The only fail is that everyone knows that only someone 30+ would do that, and if someone was indeed serious about dating someone younger, 69 & 99 would be filtered out regardless.

11. THE FLAKE - You've been talking to this guy since March of 2010, but for some reason you still haven't met. You've seen him in public before, you know he's real, he says he's interested, however when the topic of meeting pops up he 'falls asleep'. After a while this guy gets DEMOTED to #7.

12. THE VOYUER - This guy views your profile EVERY DAY, sometimes multiple times a day. He has even added you to his 'favorites', which is fine except…. You've never spoken to him once…

13. THE WORKER BEE- You just flirted with this fellow, sent him nudes and offered to beat his walls in or vice versa. You planned on meeting him later that night, but it turns out he's the one cashing you out at Walmart. #Awkward

14. THE PORN STAR or EX PORN STAR - We all have seen them on MyVidster, probably gratified ourselves to them a few times. There's just something unsettling about having them 0.01 miles away though.

15. YOUR 'FRIEND' - Your friend that you haven't spoken to that much lately, that you iMessaged and they read it and didn't reply that lives an hour away is currently 1.03 miles away from you, online & inadvertently messaged your body pic with a 'hey sexy, u tryna chill?'. Totally up to you if that's still your friend.

16. THE BURST OF THIRST - This is the local version of #8. He's there for one reason, and everyone within a 50 mile radius knows what that is. Everyone knows where he lives, what his bedroom looks like and what he drives & how his walls feel.

17. THE IRONY - This guy has 1000 things for what he expects in others and as expected he's not nearly one of the things he requires.

18. THE FAKE ACCOUNT - This guy has the same picture up since 2008. He's the same as #11 except you've never seen him anywhere. For such a good looking guy, he has no other form of social media to validate his existence.

19. THE DL NINJA - This fellow insists that he has 0 pictures and you have 25. He insists that you won't be disappointed, he insists he's on point, but just on the DL. It's usually a hit or miss, proceed if you're bored and off the next day.

20. THE DL FAIL - Tries desperately to be #19, except our simple friend has his Instagram, Facebook, Linkedin & Social Security number on his page.

21. THE BASIC GUY - Doesn't drive, doesn't host, doesn't work so he's always online. He expects you to pick him up, take him to your place, he drinks all your orange juice, you mess around briefly as he asks you to take him to his next hookup's house.

22. THE FEM - This guy is flamboyant as ever, his screen name, has a 'Minaj, Bey, Rihanna' variation to it. The irony is, they seem to be more successful at meeting up and getting it in.

23. THE FILTER - This guy always 'finds his light' in his pictures. His pictures are usually in black and white or sepia. In person not only does acne infest his face, he's 50 shades of gray darker than what he advertised.

24. THE GUEST - He's a guest because he's online maybe twice a week. This guy has priorities and Jack'd isn't one of them. To him it's just an app that he uses on his FREE TIME to either make friends or make 'FRIENDS'. It's important to get either his number or Kik ASAP as he won't be online again for the next couple weeks or so.

25.THE AWKWARD GUY - He's not bad looking, he's not rude, his pictures never seem to come out right, and his conversations are blah.

26. THE SOCIALITE - Everyone in town knows his name either in a good or bad way. You've always wanted to hook up with him, but are terrified he might put you out there like he does with everyone else.

27A. THE COUPLE - They are well respected, they've been in a relationship for years and are genuinely on the app to socialize. The app is usually on their iPad ad you could be talking to either one at any time.

27B. THE COUPLE? - These folks aren't so respected, they say they're looking for friends but offer threesomes and one sneakily gave you his number so he can have 1-1 time with you.

28. THE MYSTERY GUY - You've always wondered who were behind those abs 2.01 miles away. He clearly lives there. You've messaged him once but it was a bit of a dead end.

29. THE ACTUAL PRETTY BOY - Unlike #4 this fellow is naturally beautiful inside and out. He has a shining confident personality and is down to earth. If he's in the mood he will get it in, but most of the time he's out and about doing him and using the platform for predominantly non sexual reasons.

30. THE STRAIGHT GUY - Yea I know… Has a girlfriend/wife, kids even. Gets on every other week or so. Says he's 'not in that drama' he just wants a nut, will not give his number, or send multiple pictures. It's quite the hassle to meet up with him, but in some cases it's worth it.

Comments

Today's Sexy

You Might Like

Most Viewed Today