Memorial Day is the official kickoff to cookout season and if you've got some special trade in your life you don't want to show up to the one time he wants to be seen with you in public empty handed. Sure he shows up all the time with nothing but musty balls but thats besides the point. Here are 5 inexpenisve things you can show up to the cookout their having on his grandma's balcony with that will be sure to impress anyone!
1. A half empty pack of Newports
You leave the other half at home because his people will smoke up all your cigs if you let them. Its also a great ice breaker when his cousins ask "any body got a newport?" bring a lighter too.
Off brand soda:
The only thing namebrand at this cookout is going to be those newports and whatever paper they use to roll weed up in so save your Coca Cola and Pepsi money for a REAL date.
Gas/Loud
No don't go out and buy any, what you do is your squirrel a little a way every time he gives you some for free, because lets face it, the free weed is the only other reason you fuck with him like that. You take the weed you've been putting to the side until you have a dime or if you're feeling really generous and dub and say "I got some good shit for us" He won't care that its his own weed and you wouldn't have spent a dime
Steel Reserve
Remember earlier when we said nothing name brand was gonna be at this cookout. We meant it. This is not the party you bring Hennessey to. If you do see Hennesey here someone robbed a liquor store. Naw just show up with some 2/11. We promise you it will be gone before you can drop it into the cooler.
Potato Rolls
You don't even have to bring anything to go in the rolls if you bring potato rolls. I don't know what they put in them but they are like cookout crack. The are so rare you usually see people stuffing 2 or 3 hotdogs into one because they know the other rolls just don't taste the same.
