Everybody lies. If you say you're not a liar, you're lying right now. When your coworker asks you, “How’s your day going?” and you quickly respond, “Good, you?” — when, in fact, you didn't get to rub out that early morning nut and you have a headache— you’re lying.
When your friends ask you where you’ve been, and you say you’re “so busy” — when, in fact, you’re only hanging out with your new boo — you’re lying.
Lies can range from tiny to life-changing. But regardless of its size, a lie is still a lie.
Through trial and error, most of us have learned lying usually does more harm than good.
We develop morals often after making huge mistakes, and we decide lying isn’t worth our time.
As always, though, there are exceptions. There are people who learn lying is wrong, but they still do it. It’s not that they don’t have morals, but something just doesn’t click.
Maybe they’ve gotten away with lying too many times, or maybe they just enjoy doing it. Whatever the reason, some people become masters at lying, and they trick you into believing even their lies are the truth.
I should know. I had the displeasure of dating one for an extended period of time. What used to annoy me the most is that like most liars, he lied about everything, even the small shit that one would think wouldn't normally require a lie.
The truth is an addiction is an addiction. Whether it’s drugs or lying, I learned the hard way dating a person with any kind of addiction is impossible. I tried to love him, but it was never enough. I came to realize he loved his lies more than me.
Here are the signs of a liar I wish I had known before dating one:
1. They lie frequently.
We all know we should trust our gut instincts. If your immediate thought is that the person you’re talking to is lying to you, you’re probably right.
Compulsive liars will lie about anything and everything. Their lies are subtle and small, so they often go unnoticed. This can make it difficult to decide if they’re telling the truth or not.
2. They’re always seeking attention.
If the person you’re talking to seeks attention in an overwhelming way, he or she is probably a liar.
Liars will often bend the truth as a way to try to impress you. They want you to notice them, and they’ll fish for compliments.
They’ll act kind of like 4-year-old children who are continually saying, “Mom, look what I’m doing! Look what I did! Look at me!”
3. They have self-esteem issues.
Often, the reason people lie is because they want to avoid certain realities or perceptions about themselves. Lying gives them a sense of ego-boosting power. They can be whoever they want to be, if they lie about it.
4. Their body language is telling.
You can learn a lot about a person solely through his or her body language.
For “beginner” liars, they won’t look you in the eye. They’ll look at the floor or the ceiling, but they won’t make eye contact. However, for more “advanced” liars, they’ll look you straight in the eyes and still lie to you.
Some other body language signs are if they stand with their arms crossed, or if they turn away from you because they don’t want to look at you. In extreme cases, people will start to sweat because they’re so nervous about lying.
If they’re fidgety and unable to look at you, they’re probably lying.
5. Their stories always change.
The problem with liars is even they don’t know their own stories. The stories they tell you and the stories you hear them tell their friends sound like completely different scenarios.
Or, they’ll tell you a story today, but that same story will be different tomorrow. After all, liars are great storytellers.
6. They’re unable to confront the truth.
Compulsive liars have an inability to confront the truth. They won’t admit to anything, even if you beg them.
Once they’ve told one lie, they feel like it’s their rightful duty to stick to it. Even if you know the 100 percent absolute truth about something, they’ll still convince you you’re wrong and they’re right.
They don’t want to confront the truth and admit they’re wrong.
If these signs sound familiar, I’ll go ahead and tell you to run as fast as you can. In the words of Mystikal "Don't Stop Bitch Move"
Don’t wake up one day and realize everything you thought was real was a lie. Don’t let yourself fall into the trap of living in a false reality.
Trust your gut, trust your instincts and trust yourself because sometimes, those are the only things that are true.