There's the family you're born into, the family you choose, and the family that tries to get you drunk and have you. That's right we're talking about House Mothers and while they don't get an official holiday, we can celebrate them on the same day we would our bio moms. Here are 7 gifts you can get them that they'll be sure to cherish in between parole violations.
A home electrolysis kit, to get rid of that pesky 5 o'clock shadow.
A bump of coke, so she won't feel left out the next time everyone's in the bathroom at the club.
A pack of Capri Slims - Cuz she's a laaady (in my sheneneh voice)
Mace, for when the girls can't take
A taser, in case the trade or their "date" wants to get unruly.
At least 22 inches of Virgin Brazilian, otherwise she's practically bald
A Roll of Duct Tape - so her pussy can pop severely