It's Superbowl Sunday, and if you're like me, you're a person who only watches for the commercials and halftime show. The game itself can be a lil blah. If you happen to be in the company of someone who loves the game, it can be difficult to keep yourself entertained. Here are a few suggestions.
Sit on the couch and look annoyed
He knows you don't want to watch no fucking game and Altanta Housewives isn't coming on tonight. Give him hell.
Lay in a tub full of snacks
Eventually he'll get to the good snacks (you) and forget about the game. Unless he has money on it.
Watch a montage of Beyoncé's past Superbowl performances
You've been watching them all week anyway because you're not gonna go see her wobble around at Coachella and you're hoping Lady Gaga fucks up or brings her out to perform a Telephone/Videophone mashup.
The Superbowl will be on until at least 10 or 11 so that will give you time to get that water clear and plan how you are going to attack all the leftovers after he plows your walls in.
Fantasize about getting gang banged by the Altanta Falcons
They are a handsome bunch. No seriously.
Fantasize about Odell Beckham Jr.
Give him head during commercial breaks
He's not going to turn it down. It's like the ultimate game watching experience. You might even wanna wear a jersey.