7 Ways To Keep Your Sex Party From Smelling Like Ass, Balls and Feet

Its Pride season, and that means dancing, seeing old friends, making new ones, and sex parties.  Whether you've rented out a hotel suite for the night or you're having your fuck down in someones two bedroom apartment that they share with their grandmother, here are some tips you can use to keep your event from smelling like you left fish heads out in the sun.

 

1. Crack A Window

This one should go without saying but c'mon.  Even if you love the smell of sex funk, fresh air never hurt anybody.

 

2. Use Scented Candles

For these to be effective and to combat all that ball musk you have to have these burning around the clork for at least a week before your party starts. 

 

3.  Air Wick Plug Ins

In every socket, in every room. 

 

4. Febreze

You need enough Febreze to not only spray down every exposed surface in the area, but enough to mask the smell of guilt and shame.

 

5. Bake cookies

This solves a couple of issues all in one.  When people finish fucking and drinking they wanna eat.  So give them cookies.  It will make your party smell like home.

 

6. Hand Out Baby Wipes

You need to have these waiting at the door like...

Hand out baby wipes with the condoms and lube.  While your checking to make sure guys "qualify" to get in, do a sniff test and hand them out when necessary. 

 

7.  Burn lots of incense.

Namu Myōhō Renge Kyō. Between the smell of weed and by now burnt cookies these need to be burning for the entire duration of the party.