Former Adult Film Star Vemon on Love and Relationships While Doing Porn

This is from a blog post he did back in 2010 when he took his first break from porn.  Can't remember if this was before or after he became a pastor and came back but anyway it was a decent read.

Many people avoid relationships with guys involved in the gay porn industry. Not all, I know plenty who would die for the opportunity. To some it is just so morally wrong and the could never wrap their brains around the concept of sharing something so intimate with someone who show it to the world. I am not knocking these people because we all should have some standards, values and morals. It's not to say that those who date adult entertainers don't have morals or values, or even those of us who are adult entertainers... I'd say that we view things differently. I mean honestly, many guys who wouldn't openly date me because I'm his dirty little secret (which we all have!!!), I have come to learn that I AM that fantasy boyfriend/husband for many people. It's an imaginary world that we all live in at times. When you see Venom pounding Carlito like a jack-hammer, or when you saw Pipe ripping the shirt off Venom from behind... Many guys imagined that they were either Carlito, Pipe or even Venom!!!! You might not admit it, but you've watched it, enjoyed it to your climax and bookmarked it on your computer! (Lol)

When I began my career in this industry, I was in a relationship and I didn't tell my boyfriend that I started doing videos.Before I got too deep into it, I broke up with him. I honestly do think I made a bad decision because he was a GREAT guy, and I left him for this. No regrets, we still speak on occasion and I've learned and have grown too much to regret a decision. Moving forward with my career, I felt that no one would want me after doing videos. It does take away from the excitement when the other person already knows what you look like and how you do your business before you even get sexually involved. Many guys knew my name, how big I was and the way I stroked when we opened our conversation. I had to stop and wonder if they were there just for the sex or if they wanted a meaningful relationship. The sex in most cases was great, but as much as you don't want to believe it, I am a man of substance. I wanted more than just the casual encounter.

I began to look with in the industry to find that lover to be mine. I dated four guys in the industry and although they were all decent people, this lifestyle can be very fast and it's hard to keep up. I know you guys are like, "Who are they"???? I can't mention names for their privacy. Maybe one day when I'm in the mood to to just EXPOSE everything and everybody.... But ya'll gotta come out of your pockets for that, lol. Anyways, I have had my experiences dating guys in the industry so I know that it can be hard being with someone getting a call to go have sex for the world to see. You have to be strong, understanding and REALLY open-minded to deal with that.

When I went on hiatus from doing videos, I dated. The moments I shared with that guy (not in the industry) were great. I started working for Amtrak and was able to do a hell of a lot of traveling, but that kept me away from him a lot. With all of the distance between us, we were SOOOO Close! We'd have our normal relationship problems, but there were moments as Venom that interfered with Kevyn's relationship even though I wasn't actively being Venom. We'd be out enjoying our time together and guys would walk up to me, act as if he wasn't there, interrupt our conversation, talk about videos they like as if he wasn't standing right in from of us. Not that they knew he was my boyfriend at the time, but it was more disrespectful because they really didn't care. Those moments made life hard for my relationship.

So now it's 2010, a year after my return to the industry and I have learned so much in the past year about myself and relationships. For about a year and 8 months now I have be in a relationship, and being in this industry has added difficulty to our relationship. We continue to do work in the industry but we've learned to fight past our own insecurities and what people say, because you people talk. I have made it public that I am in a relationship, and it hasn't stopped people from all out disrespecting us. In the industry and out, people have come up to us and made him invisible!!! Don't be afraid to speak but don't forget there are two of us now.

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