The idea all gay men enjoy anal intercourse is a myth. In fact most research and data shows something quite the opposite. Historically, anal sex has been commonly associated with male homosexuality. However, many gay men and men who have sex with men in general (those who identify as gay, bisexual, heterosexual or have not identified their sexual identity) do not engage in anal sex but instead enjoy frot which in laymans terms can cover a range of activities from penis to penis touching, kissing, grinding and so on.
Gay men may choose frot or other forms of mutual masturbation because they find it more pleasurable or more affectionate, to preserve technical 'virginity', or as safe sex alternatives to anal sex,while other frot advocates denounce anal sex as degrading to the receptive partner and unnecessarily risky.
The Homosexuality of Men and Women, reported the rate of anal sex among gay men surveyed to be 8%, the least favored of all the practices documented. In similar studies, scholars state that oral sex and mutual masturbation are more enjoyable than anal stimulation among gay men in long-term relationships.
Also interesting, anal intercourse is generally more popular among gay male couples than among heterosexual couples, but it ranks behind oral sex and mutual masturbation among both sexual orientations in prevalence. An Internet survey of 30,000 gay men across the United States showed that oral sex was most commonly practiced, followed by mutual masturbation, with anal intercourse in third place". A 2014 survey by The Gay Sex Review found similar results for U.S. bisexual men.
Despite the popular perception, "sexual behaviors involving the anus were least common," researchers found. Around 75 percent of participants reported kissing their partners, giving oral sex, and/or receiving oral sex in their most recent sexual encounters. By contrast, only 36 percent of men reporting receiving anal sex and 34 percent of men reporting giving it. Half of participants who engaged in anal sex employed a condom.
The most common series of activities in the encounter—reported by 16 percent of men—involved "holding their partner romantically, kissing partner on mouth, nipple play, ball worship, solo masturbation, masturbating partner, masturbation by partner, and genital–genital contact."
Real World Example
I've been in 5 long term relationships and a string of short term ones, and I am just one example but quite a bit of this has rang true in almost all of my relationships. Even in relationships where we had sex frequently, it still wasn't as frequent as oral or masturbating.
-If you're long winded like I am, frot is a necessity otherwise you'll never get me to nut. If you're horny in the morning before work its a lot easier to rub one out.
-Fleeting/Enema Usage Until they invent instafleet, prepping for anal sex as a bottom is time consuming among other things. Not only do you have to plan when to fleet but when to eat , and when to eat before you fleet. And just when you think you're done, nope you're not. Have a seat, but not a Snickers, you're going to be there for awhile.
-There's still a chance things might get messy. You can squirt water up there until intestines need swimming lessons, an object is going in where things normally come out and you're stimulating that area with constant movement and friction. Unless you're into scat, I don't like the risk of fucking up my sheets and having this place smell like a Taco Bell Restroom after the breakfast rush.
-Sometimes you really just want to lay there and cuddle. I love sex, love it, but in a relationship its fun just to have someone to touch and tickle, kiss and pinch. Its ok to want to hold and want to be held and you won't lose any imaginary masculinity points for it either.
So come out of the closet and fret not frotters, you're not in the minority.