How To Determine Whether You're A Top, Bottom or Vers

Short answer: Fuck.  You know the old saying "you don't know if you'll like or dislike something until you try it"  It really applies when it comes down to sex.  If you've been following this portion of the site in addition to providing different sex and relationship tips, it tells a story sexual evolution. 

When I first started messing around with guys I was a bottom, not a total or a strict one just a bottom, mostly because I just seemed to attact strict tops.  I was ok with it for the most part, I liked getting fucked and guys like to fuck me so it was a win win. 

Then I met Junior.  When we started talking or courting each other one of the first conversations we had was about our sexual preferences and what we had done in previous relationships.  I told him I had been a bottom and he told me he was vers.  He also told me he had no desire to be with someone who wasn't at least kind of vers because he liked both ass and dick.   He told me I had a nice dick and it would be a shame for it to go to waste. I was stuck for a moment.  Not only had I never met someone that wanted some dick too, but that was interested in my dick specifically.  I was so used to bottoming the thought of topping someone never even really crossed my mind before. 

Now I had fucked girls before but in my mind fucking a guy in his ass was (and is) something totally different.  Was I going to like it?  How was it going to feel?  Was I going to be any good?

Then He Let Me Hit

The Earth shook, and thunder crashed and mountains moved.  I finally saw (and felt) what all the fuss was about. Ass was great.  I wanted more.  I had to have it.  Over the course of a month of messing around with Junior I went from bottom to vers to saying fuck dick altogether I only want ass.  Then Junior gave me some dick and knocked me back down a few pegs and I settled on vers and I've pretty much remained that way.  I don't prefer ass over dick or dick over ass though ironically my relationships after Junior have either been with guys who were vers or vers bottoms. 

Choosing the Position For You

Ignore the stereotypes and don't believe the hype.  Some people think in order to be a bottom, you must be the effeminate or lesser dominant partner. And vice-versa for a top. But, this isn't always the case. A person's preference for topping and bottoming is most often determined by which they get more pleasure from if any at all, not how they act outside of the bedroom.  It has nothing do with how you dress or how you gender identify.  There are transwomen that are tops and there are transwomen that are bottoms.  There are drag queens that are tops and drag queens that are bottoms there are hyper masculine guys that are tops and hyper masculine guys that are bottoms.  Same with more feminine guys.  There are tall bottoms and short tops.  There are guys with phat asses that have no interest in getting fucked and guys with big dicks that don't want to stick.  And anybody can be vers.  Thats the beauty of it.  There is no rule book that you have to follow, you can pretty much hit up the buffet and eat all you can.

Hell you may even fall into one of the sub categories:

Vers tops: Guys who are vers but prefer topping more than bottoming or tend to top more than bottom

Vers bottoms: Guys who are vers but but prefer bottoming more than topping or tend to bottom more than top

Oral tops and bottoms: Guys who like to suck dick and eat ass more than penetration but still enjoy penetration

Vers oral bottoms and vers oral tops. The possibilities and combinations are endless.

That's why the best way to determine if you're a top or bottom  or vers is to experiment with your partner. If you keep an open mind and go into sex without a pre-determined idea of what should happen, you and your partner will likely fall into your natural preferences.

Sure, some guys know right away which they prefer, even before having sex for the first time. Chances are, even if they've never had anal with another guy, they have experimented during masturbation, which is also a good way to discover your pleasure preference.

And even still, some guys prefer not to label themselves at all.

Sex is best had without anxiety. A calm, cool, relaxed body and an open mind can reward some pretty amazing sexual experiences. Instead of writing the script of what your anal encounter should be, go in with a blank canvas and let your body take control.

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