Warn Me If You're About To Fart In My Mouth

The heat of passion can lead to a lot of wonderful explosive unexpected moments in the bedroom.  This is not one of them.

I know, I know, it feels so good when I'm back there eating your cakes like its my birthday.  You're in the zone, and you're allowing yourself to relax so you can get ready to take the meat you've been waiting for.

Thats great, thats where I want you, however I don't need you so comfortable that you can't feel a fart bout to slip out and greet me at your back door.  

I don't care if you have to kick me in the face, I'd rather have your pinky toe in my mouth (yea I like feet) than have a fart in my mouth. 

In the event it does happen, I'm gonna stop what I'm doing and direct you to the bathroom to check yourself out.  If its a wet fart I'm kicking you out.  Had it happen before, don't ask.