No Strings Attached: The Fuck Buddy Guide

Not everyone wants to fall in love, get married and buy matching Jordans.  Some guys just want to fuck.  Just like relationships guys that want to just have sex have to navigate their own unique set of issues.  So what is a fuck buddy?  Most would say someone you only ever see with the intention of sleeping with them. You don’t hang out outside of the bedroom and you don’t call each other up the next day to say you had a good time, unless you’re calling for another session. It’s not a friends-with-benefits situation, it’s somebody that you have in your life purely to satisfy your sexual needs.

Having the option of a fuck buddy is great when you're a person like me may not be looking for a relationship at the moment but still have a healthy sex drive.   I’m not really into one-night-stands (or at least not frequently) and I'd prefer to know if the person I'm sleeping with isn't a lunatic.  Its good to have a person you can call when you just need to fuck.

But is there more to a fuck buddy than the desire to have sex with each other? It sounds simple and too good to be true and the truth is, it can be sometimes, although it shouldn’t have to be. But it can be a tricky situation if it’s not done right. Everybody has their own set of rules and opinions that work best for them.

The following is a general list of rules to follow when entering into a strickly sexual relationship. 

1. Both parties must have respect for each other; it’s that simple. No respect, no sex.

2. Both parties must understand the situation. You both need to know that what you have is purely physical and nothing more will ever develop out of it. If you aren’t sure or feel the other person may not be certain about the situation then you must ask or explain the circumstances.

3. There should be a mutual physical/sexual chemistry or attraction to one another. If you can’t bear to look at the person sober or they’re not wild enough for you in bed then there is no point in continuing a relationship based on sex with them.

4. You must both be able to communicate what you want, when you want it, and how you want it. Remember, you are both spending time together in order to get what you want, which is satisfaction. If they aren’t sure or aren’t doing something the way you like it, then tell them how it’s done before giving up completely.

5. You should have few or no mutual friends. This one is a matter of personal preference.  I really don't like my business in streets and if we are just fucking I don't see the need to make a public announcement about it, and I don't want to accidently run into you when we're not fucking. It can become a very awkward situation if you know a lot of the same people and one of you is more of a private person and the other individual is more open.  It’s okay to have mutual friends in a friends-with-benefits situation, but I wouldn't suggest it with a fuck buddy.

6. Only call/text/email/message/whatever with the intention of fucking or arranging your next fuck. They need to understand that that is all there is between the two of you and that there’s nothing more to say.

7. Share little about your life or day except the basics. Sure, you can make some small talk asking how their day was, finding out what they do for a living or whatever, but don’t go on a rant about what a bad day you had at work, how your friend is getting married soon, blah blah blah. You are there to have sex, not to find a confidante or establish an emotional connection.

8. This next rule is not set in stone by any means but I find it is best if you see each other no more than once or twice a week.  Seeing each other any more than that tends to lead to one person developing feelings for the other or the sex becoming less exciting. Although there have been a couple of occasions where it has worked, it has never lasted for very long.  This is one of those things you have to really be clear and communicate about in the beginning.  No matter how frequent we have sex, I'm not, I repeat not, trying to date you. 

9. Don't spend the night and don't sleep over, or at least try to avoid it. I don’t care how tired you/they are or how drunk, call yourself (or them) a cab and get out of there. Once the sex is over, their purpose has been met and there is no need for them to stick around. Why would you want to experience the morning after with your fuck buddy whom you shouldn’t be sharing much personal information with? If you want morning-after sex then tell them you’ll call in the morning and kick them out.

10. Protect yourself.  If you aren’t exclusively fucking each other (that is, you haven’t agreed that you won’t fuck anybody else) then you should be using condoms too.  Get on Prep and whatever else you feel you may need for casual sex. Get tested.  Often.

11.  Play out your fantasies and try new things! With a fuck buddy, you don’t have to worry about what they think or how they may react to your strange requests. If they don’t want to try something out then either deal with it or try with someone else. The point of a fuck buddy is satisfaction, so don’t be afraid to get creative!

12.Finally, one of the most important yet often ignored rules: once someone develops feelings for the other or another person, STOP! If you don’t end it quickly, things will get very complicated and messy, I guarantee it.


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